|
ahollowpath
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Cake
Interests: I heart anime, books (lots and lots of books!), the computer, people who comment, Band, Hayao Miyazaki, Music and art in general, etc.
Expertise: Scaring people
Occupation: I already told you that
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/14/2007
|
|
| The last 45 minutes of the movie. This will be interesting.
Minutes 41-45:
Roshi wraps up his story, and it is revealed that Yamcha has been listening the whole time, and decides to throw in his two cents. He tells them that "it's a load of crock", although why he would want to tell them that, I don't know. Honestly, if I heard some people telling this story to one another, I would assume they had just escaped from the looney bin and leave them alone. But apparently thats just me. Goku starts screaming about wanting to get out, and jumps ridiculously high in the air, thanks to his obvious wires. Yamcha, instead of commenting on the fact that this teenager just jumped a good 20 feet in the air, says he will leave them there if they do it again (W. T. F.). Then, the DBE goes off (why hasn't it before? they've been in the hole for hours) and Bulma exclaims that it MUST be underground! Seriously. I think she would have figured that out by now. Especially being a Ph.D.
Roshi then jumps (in the way that Goku did) completely out of the hole (WHY DIDN'T HE JUST DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE???) and offers Yamcha "more money than he's ever dreamed of". Where he will get this money, I have no idea. Oh, right. He gave away a third of the royalties to Bulma's invention (what invention?) without her permission (ileegallll). They climb into the tiny hole they have made into the side of the big hole, and it (seemingly magically) turns into a cavernous tunnel, complete with stalagmites and stalagtites.
Hey, you didn't forget Piccolo, did you? Don't worry. Another 45-second scene shows him going to ridiculous and unnecessary lengths to make a clone of himself. Now back to Goku.
I honestly have no idea how they got from underground tunnel to aboveground volcano, but they do, and we are treated to a cartoonish scene with Yamcha and geysers. You can probably guess what happened. Just as they are trying to get to the dragonball (perched on the other side of a pit of magma, of course), several Piccolo clones attack. They decide to make a bridge of the clones (still screaming and being burned to death by magma) to get to the dragonball...
Minutes 46-50:
He sees more apocalyptic scenes in the dragonball, and he briefly fights Piccolo's jumpsuit-wearing girlfriend. Where she goes, I don't know, but then they start summing up what they are doing. Oh goodness! It looks like they must go to Toisan, where ChiChi just so happense to be having her tournament! What a coincidence! That was sarcasm, for those who don't know me well.
Oh Roshi of little faith goes to visit some guy (where are the others?) and wants to use a Ma Fu Ba, despite its ability to "use up all of his life forces". He claims Goku will not be ready, since their journey so far has taken 6 of the 7 days until the eclipse. The guy (Sifu Norris, no lie) throws him a bone and agrees to get the Ma Fu Ba ready.
Meanwhile, back at the tournament, ChiChi is fighting Piccolo's jumpsuit-girl, although she has changed out of her jumpsuit and into (omg) a new jumpsuit. She scratches ChiChi to get her blood (why? ChiChi has nothing to do with any of the story, except she's a girl from Goku's school) and walks out of the match. Goku then shows up, and ChiChi just gets as excited as an Otaku at a panel...
While I have you, I've noticed that the dragonballs have all been driving distance away from Goku's home. Why is that? They were "spread all over the Earth" in the series. Did they migrate? Whatever.
Minutes 51-55:
Goku says something creepy to ChiChi (as per his character), and we are given a scene in which Bulma and Yamcha are flirting, and get about 20 seconds from making out in a marketplace. But, since they are interrupted, they instead give a little pep talk. Really, people?
I guess Goku ditched ChiChi, since he's now going through Yoga-like moves with Roshi. Then (ooh I'm so excited!) Roshi starts talking about the last level of airbending, the Kame Hame Ha. Although it looks more like fire, Roshi shows Goku how to do it (although they agree he is not ready), and tells him to practice it until he's perfect. ChiChi shows herself, since she's been watching him, and tells him with every lit torch, he can get closer to her...
Minutes 56-60:
Ugh. After he's done, of course, she makes out with him.
Roshi is shown starting the Ma Fu Ba, then ChiChi is shown doing the walk of shame out of Goku's room. But it is not so! It is, in fact, an imposter stealing the dragonballs (hence the blood sample). Why Goku was allowed to leave them in his room unattended, I don't know. But jumpsuit girl gets away with the dragonballs, and Goku has a near-death experience.
Minutes 61-65:
Roshi uses the Kame Hame Ha on Goku, and apparently that brings people back to life. They go to the "dragon temple" which is apparently just a mound of dirt, and Piccolo puts all of the dragonballs together, and Scooby Doo and the gang get in their flying vehicle to stop them. Piccolo decides fighting some humans is more important than dragonballs, and Goku literally pulls his grampy's jacket out of nowhere to fight...
Minutes 66-70:
FINALLY Goku turns into his beast form, and it turns out that Oozaru (Piccolo's henchman from the initial story) is Goku. Roshi does the whole Maaaaa Fuuuuu Baaaaa thing to imprison Piccolo again, killing himself in the process. The girly Goku inside throws a hissy fit, and turns back into himself to fight Piccolo with numerous powers that were previously unshown. Bulma also starts fighting little miss jumpsuit...
Minutes 71-76:
Bulma throws the capsule to jumpsuit, but jumpsuit dodges and almost kills her. Yamcha, of course steps in at the last minute.
Goku starts whining about being at one with himself. Then, the worst special effects I have ever seen let Goku defeat Piccolo, and the sun comes out of the eclipse that sent Goku into his Oozaru form.
Goku apparently knows everything to do in order to summon Shen Long, the dragon, and asks for Roshi's life back. They then acknowledge that the dragonballs are gone, and get ready to look for them again.
Goku goes to visit ChiChi, and starts making out with her. Then they decide to fight, for a reason I still can't figure out.
TEH ENDZ.
Ok, I don't know if anyone noticed but me, but Goku's hair gets increasingly more gelled, based on his ability to get hair gel. Really. When at home, his hair looks somewhat naturally spiked, and good. But by the end of the movie, when he's training in temples and out in the middle of nowhere, he has hair that I'm sure if it were hit by anything would stab into his skull and kill him.
This has been awful. I am actually going to pay a late fee, since the movie is due in 10 minutes, and I am still in pajamas. But be warned! Just because I am paying $4.50 to watch this (think of the poor suckers who saw it in theaters for $8) doesn't mean you have to!
I give this movie a 1/5, with the 1 being solely from the first two fight scenes. The others were crap.
Peace!
~Cake~
| | |
| I'm going to try to review this by using increments of 5 minutes, since there's so much fail, I could not possibly fit it all in an overview.
This is extremely long, so get ready.
Minutes 1-5:
So they have this huge title sequence where they explain some God-awful story that has nothing to do with anything on Dragonball ever, except that the bad guy was named Piccolo. They talk about how he and some henchman (Piccolo needed a henchman???) nearly destroyed the world, and how some group of people made the Ma Fu Ba (WTF is a Ma Fu Ba???) to seal him in the Earth.
Why the HECK would anyone want to seal him in the Earth? Blast him back into space or drown him, don't put him somewhere he likes so he can come back up! That's like saying, "Well, I was going to kill all of the termites eating my home, but I decided to build a small shed for them to feast on. Then when they run out of wood with the shed, they can come back and eat my house, but maybe by then I'll be dead!"
Then there was a black screen, with some person saying, "The first rule is, there are no rules." WHAT ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING???
Then a close up of a sweaty white highschooler. Not what I pictured for Goku, but it might not be him (I hope). Ok, now he's standing on some closelines; that's pretty cool. Oh hey an Asian old guy! Maybe that's Roshi! He gets up onto the closelines with his beatin' stick, and in the most American accent you could possibly imagine tells the kid that whoever touches the ground first loses. The fight scene following is actually pretty cool, and very original.
The old guy wins, naturally, and the two start talking. Oh wait! The old guy is the kid's grandpa. And my worst nightmare comes true: This skinny white kid is Goku. He starts whining about how he has no friends and how the kids at school make him mad, and he wants to beat them up...
Minutes 6-10:
So the grandpa tells him he promised not to fight kids, and Goku starts whining about how he wants to learn how to talk to girls and be normal, to which the grandpa replies (help me out here, kiddos!):
"Normal is overrated."
Well then Goku starts to storm off in order to pick out his panties that were bunched by the previous conversation, but grandpa stops him and gives him a birthday present: The 4-star dragonball. Grandpa starts rambling about how it and Goku are his only treasures, and blah blah seven dragonballs beginner stuff. Then it's time for little miss Goku to go off to school!
Apparently they live in the future, where schools are sponsored by companies, all the desks have touch screens, and lockers open with slidy-cards. But they still drive ground-based vehicles. Of course, our little heroine drives a nice little bike, which gets run over by the treacherous Carey Fuller (dun dun dunnn). Fuller starts harassing Goku after Goku mentions something about Fuller running over his bike, but he's stopped by his girlfriend, who Goku simply MUST stare at when she enters.
The scene then changes, to a small hut-style Japanese village (why they don't have all the future tech, I have no idea, but hey, not everyone lives in a big city), after a brief segue reminding viewers of the green baddie, Piccolo. Some girl is running around a burning village, and grabs a child, runs into what must have been a house at some point, and tries to comfort the girl.
Something quick about this house: It has no roof, or most of the walls, yet the older girl feels the need to use the door inexplicably. Back to the story.
Another woman, this time in a revealing jumpsuit and short hair, busts down the door made of straw (seriously, NOT NECESSARY, PEOPLE) and starts looking for the dragonball that the older girl is shown to have. At this point, one must wonder: Why did she grab the child and take her into hiding, when if she had left the girl alone, she would have been better off? Hmm. Anyways, they hide under the floorboards, which are conveniently people-height, and are found, after which the older girl turns herself in to spare the younger, and the dragonball is taken...
Minutes 11-15:
Piccolo decides to show up, even though his little helper pretty much has the situation wrapped up. He looks ridiculous, by the way. The girl is then shot, and the scene shifts back to Goku, who is sitting in science while the teacher rambles about solar eclipses. Of course, he would be teaching something useful to this story on this particular day, but whatever. Goku has an extremely vivid and borderline stalker-esque fantasy about the girl, but is, of course, snapped back to reality by the teacher. The girl then can't get her locker open, and Goku uses his "ki" to force all of the lockers open, shocking the girl.
Ki was explained in the first few minutes, but I honestly didn't care enough to pay attention to it.
She then runs after him and mentions ki, shocking him. She FINALLY mentions something about her name being ChiChi, but that not making her stupid, and Goku says something stupid, so she decides to invite him to the party she happens to be having that night.
The makers then decide to have the cliché scene with him standing in front of the mirror, practicing various ways to say, "Hi." He then goes to the party, leaving his 70 year-old grandfather to sit by himself with the birthday cake that he made himself. What a jerk.
As per the story, ChiChi really does live in a castle-like place, and I commend whoever thought of that, although so far the only ties this movie has to Dragonball is Piccolo, the actual Dragonballs, and names.
As soon as Goku arrives, Fuller's gang (minus Fuller) starts harassing him for absolutely no reason at all. Because people like to do that, I guess. Goku turns to leave, but decides he doesn't want to be a wimp...
Minutes 16-20:
Again, the following fight scene is awesome, and I give props to whoever choreographed them. Goku dodges all of Fuller's cronies' moves, therefore making them beat the crap out of each other. Fuller then comes out, and in true boss-battle form, gets angry and comes after Goku himself. Goku again dodges (since he promised gramps he wouldn't fight) and thus makes Fuller hit his car several times, thoroughly scraping and beating it, but it is still driveable. The only bad part of this scene is that after the fight with Fuller, the entire car just breaks down: suspension fails, lights go out, windows break, etc. No high-school student, much less one with nothing but a stick (the weapon Fuller was using) could ever do that much damage, especially since the worst thing done to the car was a giant scratch and the side mirrors getting torn off.
After Fuller was on the ground, ChiChi takes Goku in (instead of helping her boyfriend) and starts flirting with him. Seriously? She was in a relationship not 30 seconds ago! She starts talking about how she likes that Goku's different, and Goku starts going off about his grandpappy and whining about how he has no parents.
Meanwhile, said grandpappy was sitting at a table by himself, when that evil girl that was terrorizing the Japanese village (see minutes 6-10) comes in and starts trying to kill him. Piccolo then arrives and announces that th dragonball is not there. He then proceeds to destroy the house using mind powers.
Goku senses that his grandpa is in trouble, and runs out of the party...
Minutes 21-25:
Goku sees his house in shambles, and starts looking for his grandpa. Gramps is under some debris, and fairly close to death. Instead of calling 911, he starts questioning the old man. Grampy tells him to find Master Roshi (FINALLY) and rhymes a bit. He then leaves Goku with some vague self-esteem wisdom, and dies.
The next day, Goku buries grandpa and immediately starts going through the man's things, finding a jacket, and whining. Lassie hears something! An intruder? Some girl with a blue stripe in her long hair holds an impressive-looking gun up to his head, and tells him to "hand it over." Goku then asks the girl if she is Piccolo, and if she killed his grampy. She takes the time to explain that she doesn't know what a piccolo is, and she would have shot him by now if she had been the one to kill his grandpa. Apparently the reason this girl is freaking out (she takes the time to explain this too, although if he had taken it, he would have known all of this) because someone broke into her father's company (Capsule Corp.) and took the "promethium orb" (dragonball). Some little gadget tells her our whiny hero has it, and she starts shooting.
They explain to each other how they obtained said promethium orbs and dragonballs, and the various stats on both items, all while lying uncomfortably close on the ground. They finally get to the fact that his dragonball has 4 stars, while hers had 5. After talking some smack, Goku asks her what happened to her dragonball, although she explained not 3 minutes ago. The girl asks what he wants for his dragonball, and she says (very provocatively), "everyone has their price"...
Minutes 26-30:
The girl explains that she swore she'd get it back, and she found him using a dragonball detection machine she invented. Apparently as soon as you meet and almost kill any random person, you must explain your life story to them, leaving out not even how many college degrees you have (she has a Ph.D. in applied dynamics with a minor in tactical weaponry). She says she will make the dragonballs an unlimited source of energy, since there's apparently no chance that her idea will get stolen by this person she just met. Goku suggests they team up, and this girl tells him he's useless, since she has the DBE (a name she made up for her device, called the Dragon Ball Energy Locator). Finally someone says what I'm thinking! He says she needs backup, since someone else is also looking for them. She tells him that her name is Bulma Briefs, and she shows off by pulling a (not going to lie) awesome bike out of a capsule.
They get to futuristic Paozu, and Bulma can't seem to find Roshi in the directory. Goku, who finally starts to act his gender, is a d-bag and says, "Did you try 'Master'?" After getting "the look" from Bulma, he starts spelling Master. Bulma then scoffs, and he offers her a bite of his cartoonish turkey leg. This character makes no sense to me at all. Goku starts rambling about sensing his grandfather, and Bulma ignores him, noticing the DBE instead. They ride off to a small hut that is placed on the top of what can only be described as the only hill in a giant hole in the center of town. Again, kudos to whoever did their homework and put the characters in lodging that was somewhat similar to the story (Roshi lived on an island in the middle of nowhere, for the newbies). Bulma has no problem breaking in, but Goku goes in after her whining about how it's illegal (although he DOES go in himself).
He knocks over some thing, which (of course) triggers a whole set of other things to fall, eventually throwing some rocks into the air, which he catches Matrix-style. One, however, hits a vase and wakes some drunk-looking hobo-like person sleeping on a hammock. The drunk hobo starts fighting him, but unlike the other fight scenes, this one is extremely lame. It is very obviously fake and many MANY wires were obviously used, while in previous scenes the fighting was very clean and fun to watch. This was just sad. The drunk hobo stops fighting to tell Goku he was trained well...
Minutes 31-35:
In what can only be described as the lamest thing EVER, Goku tries in vain to punch this George Lopez look-alike, and Bulma runs out to tell them both to stop. Goku then exclaims that he's going to end it (although through the whole battle he has not laid a single punch), and flies into the air. You read that right. He flew, and did the "shadow crane strike" his grampy used to knock him off of the wires. Bulma seems to be the only one seriously effected, even though she did not just wake up and is not seemingly hung over.
This drunk hobo starts asking (in a voice my homosexual homies would be jealous of) how Gohan is (Goku recognizes this name as his grandpappy's) and the drunk hobo claims to have trained him. Apparently this drunk, scruffy, dirty person (with a full head of hair, Dragonball fans) is Master Roshi, and after Goku exclaims this, the man starts yelling something weird (making me believe he had quite a bit of alcohol still in his system) and laughing uncontrollably. Goku starts in whining about his grandpappy being dead, which abrubtly stops Roshi's laugher. Goku tells him all of the stuff grampy said before he died, and Roshi does possibly the weirdest thing so far: he recites the poem in its entirety, making random movements all the while. He flips when Goku mentions the eclipse, and starts rifiling through things looking for a dragonball.
After Bulma finds his edition of Bikini Quarterly (at least he is the Roshi I grew up with), Goku goes straight to the dragonball, seeing some random vision of some evil thing inside (much like Frodo in LotR, fellow nerds). Roshi says something about 7 days (saw it coming), and says something about Goku being the key. Here Roshi displays some of the weirdest gestures and facial expressions I have ever seen, and I can make no sense at all of how this man portrays Master Roshi.
At this point, you're probably thinking, "Hey, what about our bad guy, who reminds me slightly of those on the old Power Rangers shows?" Don't worry your pretty little heads! Apparently he has a giant ship that he rides on the outside of (although the interior looks roomy) for dramatic effect, with his jumpsuit-clad vixen by his side, also looking rather dramatic. He reaches into the now empty lake (he drained the water) and finds another dragonball. Meanwhile (because that simply couldn't go on any longer) Roshi puts his things together and gets ready to start travelling with them, explaining to Goku that he will go to a secret place where he learns to master the three elements - Fire, Water, and Air (sounding a little like Avatar? Yeah. I thought so too)....
Minutes 36-40:
Roshi finally starts acting pervy, but it only lasts a second (aww man... I thought I was getting my beloved series back). Goku is made to carry all of Roshi's belongings, while Bulma and Roshi ride on the one vehicle (although it has a trailer attached, Goku can't use it, since the pack was too heavy. They left the trailer attached for no reason that I can see).
They go along the desert, and happen along the "stone temple". Apparently it is not as secret as Roshi thought, and ChiChi is actually there fighting some random dude. She explains that everyone is training for some tournament. She says nobody at home knows she's a fighter, but she wants to see him at the tournament in some town.
They leave, going after a dragonball, and now Goku is allowed to ride in the trailer (since he's been such a good doggie). They fall into some hole, and a surfer-type dude comes to see if they need help. Bulma acts like a skank in order to get him to help them, though he seemed willing enough to help them anyways. He says his name is Yamcha (NO FREAKIN WAY. Ugh.) and that he will need some payment. It becomes apparent that he dug that hole (it is clearly made of rock, so that would be quite an achievement) and he is willing to take the vehicle in exchange for use of his ladder (now it's more like the Yamcha I know). I guess they didn't want to give up the vehicle, because Goku starts trying to climb the sides. Roshi starts retelling the story told at the beginning of the movie (Minutes 1-5) except declaring the ones who destroyed Earth were "Gods from the sky."
This is as far as I'm getting tonight. I will start again in the morning with a fresh weblog entry. I'm actually 40 minutes in, and the movie is about 84.5 minutes long, so I'm about halfway. Peace!
~Cake~
| | |
| I click 'Remember Me' when I sign on.
I'm praying for the day he logs in
For the first time in two years
And realizes I'm still alive.
Remember me.
Please. | | |
| Ok so here's what's going on right now that needs to change:
I STILL haven't hardly put a dent in Great Expectations.
Since I have so much other stuff going on, I forget to practice guitar, which makes my instructor mad.
I have no idea what to get my friend for her birthday.
I'm getting fatter and fatter, and even though I want to go exercise, the fact that I'm so fat is making me not want to go humiliate myself by trying in vain to lose some pounds.
Band starts in a couple of weeks, so I know I won't be able to do squat after that.
I'm afraid that the new freshmen are going to drive me back to depression.
My personality is getting really really crappy, and I can't do anything to stop it.
I feel like I complain about these things all the time, and that I'm starting to sound like I'm fishing for compliments. I'm really not, I just want somebody to know so that if all of a sudden I SEVERELY need help, nobody can say I kept it all inside.
For the first time ever, I think I actually liked someone, but now they aren't here and they didn't care about me when they were.
Life sucks. And it's not going to get better. I just need some help coping. This helps. | | |
| Ok so Apple Update was totally mugging my computer's memory space when I noticed it trying to load Safari. I read the description and it said it was a totally fast browser. Now I love IE. I may be a Mac fanatic, but I have used Internet Explorer my entire life and it has only failed me many times. I wasn't sure about switching (though I loved using FireFox on my mom's laptop). I tried it today at about 5:30ish and I'm using it as I type this weblog. I LOVE IT!!! Especially the little one-click bookmark thing at the top! That way I can just look up there and go, "Hey, I haven't checked Gaia in forevers! I can do that right now with the click of a mouse!" And it will check my spelling as I type!
Anyway things are pretty normal for me. I have church things Monday through Wednesday, and Thursday is guitar lessons. Fridays I usually go to my grandparents' house (they have digital cable and On Demand so if I ever get bored I can watch TV) and Saturday is good TV day. So really my only bored days are Sundays. That'll change when I get back in school... X(
Band starts in a few weeks. That'll be interesting. Maybe. It all depends on the upcoming Freshmen. Some of them are ok, others are awesome, and some are... different. The marching show sounds alright, but I really loved the Koldoon show a lot more. We actually had pyrotechnics at one point. I think. I can't really see what's going on in the back most of the time.
I'll be on Gaia Online and Animal Crossing Community a lot more, but I can't check Facebook on Safari (I need to get flash player working again) so I'll be here and on Gaia more than Facebook.
I'll put a quote down here when I feel like it. ;P
-♥-Cake-♥- | | |
|
|
